Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after(A) orphans and widows(B)in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.© (NIV)
This is sometimes the response I receive when I ask what brings the family to adoption. Adopters generally fall into two camps--the infertile and the religious. The religious adopters often express they believe they are "called" to adopt. So this verse--or more likely than not, just the "look after orphans and widows" part is the answer to the question. And as an adoption agency, it makes sense to hear the orphan part, but I have to admit I am sometimes frustrated that the potential adopters just slide right over that widow word. This becomes more evident when the potential adopters jump right to what kind of orphan they are hoping to help. The orphan they believe they are called to help is a baby--a newborn, please, and one with no health conditions born to a woman who has not used any illegal substances. Even better, she hasn't used any legal substances, like tobacco or alcohol either. And how is she eating? It would be great if she hasn't had any processed meats. The most typical concession made by these potential adopters is to adopt trans-racially. However, I have come across a few families that do not want to make this concession either. In short, they would like to adopt an orphan that could just as easily come from their own family line.
Is this really a picture of what God is asking of us? Somehow, I just don't think so. For one thing, these babies are living, breathing individuals who come with a history! These babies come from two biological parents. Despite the cartoon image of the stork dropping babies into the waiting arms of loving parents, the fact is these babies have human parents. And let's face it. if life was going well for these parents, it is unlikely the idea of adoption would ever cross their minds, much less actually be completed. Infant domestic adoptions happen because women find themselves in a position in which they do not believe they can care for their child. I have never met a birth parent who woke up one day and said "Yay! I get to give my baby to someone else!" There are overwhelming circumstances that stand in the way of their ability to give to the child all that they believe the child deserves.
Some of these overwhelming circumstances can or may include poverty; a lack of education; substance abuse; domestic violence; or even just a streak of bad luck. There are some birth parents who could successfully parent their child, but believe there are other parents who could offer more and better.
And what about the widows? My mother was widowed for 18 years. She was blessed with great health for 17 of those 18 years. She had an active mind, body and spirit. She was generous with her money and time. She was generous in her love to me. While she grieved my father's death, she did not have the "distress" that is faced by so many birth parents.
So if we are to heed this particular passage of scripture, what should we do? I think it is probably more helpful to focus on the word "distress" rather than the the two groups that are named experiencing such distress. It's not that I don't want people to adopt--I think adoption is a wonderful picture of the Gospel. I wouldn't be a mother if not for the gift of adoption! But I think a good adoption plan will include care and love for birth parents, as well as the infant being placed.
My challenge for myself and others is to look for ways to help those in distress…whether they are widows, orphans, or my neighbor. Blessings to you all.
This is sometimes the response I receive when I ask what brings the family to adoption. Adopters generally fall into two camps--the infertile and the religious. The religious adopters often express they believe they are "called" to adopt. So this verse--or more likely than not, just the "look after orphans and widows" part is the answer to the question. And as an adoption agency, it makes sense to hear the orphan part, but I have to admit I am sometimes frustrated that the potential adopters just slide right over that widow word. This becomes more evident when the potential adopters jump right to what kind of orphan they are hoping to help. The orphan they believe they are called to help is a baby--a newborn, please, and one with no health conditions born to a woman who has not used any illegal substances. Even better, she hasn't used any legal substances, like tobacco or alcohol either. And how is she eating? It would be great if she hasn't had any processed meats. The most typical concession made by these potential adopters is to adopt trans-racially. However, I have come across a few families that do not want to make this concession either. In short, they would like to adopt an orphan that could just as easily come from their own family line.
Is this really a picture of what God is asking of us? Somehow, I just don't think so. For one thing, these babies are living, breathing individuals who come with a history! These babies come from two biological parents. Despite the cartoon image of the stork dropping babies into the waiting arms of loving parents, the fact is these babies have human parents. And let's face it. if life was going well for these parents, it is unlikely the idea of adoption would ever cross their minds, much less actually be completed. Infant domestic adoptions happen because women find themselves in a position in which they do not believe they can care for their child. I have never met a birth parent who woke up one day and said "Yay! I get to give my baby to someone else!" There are overwhelming circumstances that stand in the way of their ability to give to the child all that they believe the child deserves.
Some of these overwhelming circumstances can or may include poverty; a lack of education; substance abuse; domestic violence; or even just a streak of bad luck. There are some birth parents who could successfully parent their child, but believe there are other parents who could offer more and better.
And what about the widows? My mother was widowed for 18 years. She was blessed with great health for 17 of those 18 years. She had an active mind, body and spirit. She was generous with her money and time. She was generous in her love to me. While she grieved my father's death, she did not have the "distress" that is faced by so many birth parents.
So if we are to heed this particular passage of scripture, what should we do? I think it is probably more helpful to focus on the word "distress" rather than the the two groups that are named experiencing such distress. It's not that I don't want people to adopt--I think adoption is a wonderful picture of the Gospel. I wouldn't be a mother if not for the gift of adoption! But I think a good adoption plan will include care and love for birth parents, as well as the infant being placed.
My challenge for myself and others is to look for ways to help those in distress…whether they are widows, orphans, or my neighbor. Blessings to you all.
