I Got it All Together…Now Where Did I Put It?

This past weekend, as I was throwing piles of scrap wood onto the fire pit along with the debris of yard work only recently done after approximately twenty years of neglect, I threw myself an enormous pity party. I considered myself entirely justified in doing so. My reasons were legion. I really hate to sweat, and the ninety percent humidity combined with eighty degree heat made the logic of such a fire questionable at best. "The next time I have a huge bonfire," I grumbled, "it's going to be October and there will be weenies on sticks!" The lake was beckoning with the sounds of jet ski and pontoon motors humming at a steady level. "Is our pier in?" I asked myself. "No, of course it is not," came the immediate reply. "Maybe I'll go inside and take a break in the air conditioning," came the next thought. In a heartbeat, I remembered that although the air conditioning was running, the cabin is missing two big windows and is covered with tarp. The air conditioning is not actually effective at this time. The charm of the little log cabin in the woods on the lake, gleefully purchased as "the deal of the century", was wearing painfully thin. Buyer's remorse and a pity party seemed to be the order of the day.

 As pity parties go, this was not truly a red hot event. I was able to focus my thoughts in another direction. I began thinking about my recent trip to Scotland, and in particular, I thought about the other women on the trip. What bonds 42 women together? It could have been the challenge of learning to navigate the shower in every new hotel. It could have been the first day of dealing with jet lag. Perhaps it was the search for free wi-fi and trying to stay in touch with family at home. In reality, it was something most European tours do not include. This trip included a daily Bible study--not your typical European tour fare. What became just an interesting side note to the trip rapidly became the focus and glue of the trip.

The women on this trip all appeared to have it all together. Ages ranged from retired to early thirties. Most women were married. Most shared they had children and a good many had grandchildren. It was, to say the least, a very classy group of women. All seemed to share a love of reading. After all, this tour was hosted by a well-known Christian author, Liz Curtis Higgs. Liz taught from the book of Ruth, drawing every woman in the group into her grasp of the Bible--the language, the idioms, the customs and the foreshadowing all included in this great work of the Old Testament.

Something about the intimacy of this daily early morning ritual prompted guests to start sharing pieces of their lives from home. The first days focused on the superficial--the churchy equivalent of name, rank and serial number. Women shared name, occupation, and marital status. But as the days went by, the prayer requests began. This wonderful group of Christian women was truly and delightfully human. More than one woman shared a story of a prodigal child. One dear lady shared of her current struggle with Stage IV cancer. I was able to share my grief in the loss of my wonderful mother, whose generosity had paid for this trip. These women, who have it all together, have issues! Their lives are not perfect.

This group has remained in contact with one another through the wonder of social media. A group member created a private Facebook page, and my feed now consists of a large percentage of posts on this "secret" page. Not only are pictures and book recommendations flying over cyberspace, the prayer concerns and praises have been hitting the airwaves as well.

I had also received a group email from a coworker that morning. Not only is this person a coworker, she is also a dear friend. I work in an office with very dynamic and successful women. All are confident, accomplished, generous and caring, seemingly without a care in the world. Yet this particular friend was coping with a mother-in-law with Alzheimer's in a crisis stage, along with a brother-in-law who was MIA.

So as I stood, dripping in sweat and grumbling about the injustice of not being able to frolic on the lake, my heart went to this group of remarkable women and they faith they demonstrate. I realized my "problem" --my unruly cabin--was such a blessing. For heaven's sake, I have two houses in a time when homelessness is epidemic. My cabin is located in the place I have loved since my teen years. It is located in the place where I was able to question, grow and become committed to my faith. It was in this place, on THIS lake, that I came to know beyond any doubt, the Jesus of Nazareth was indeed the Son of God and that amazingly enough, He knew me and loved me.

My cabin is a work in progress. My suburban house is on the market, and hopefully will sell soon. When that happens, I will be moving to the cabin, which currently does not have a single closet. Someday I will be able to frolic on the lake with the other carefree people. But I have realized that even though I will someday "get it all together", I will always have from to grow. As long as I am living, there is the potential for something to go wrong. I'm fairly confident--make the 100% confident--that something down the line will go wrong. There will be more heartache in my life. Yet I am not alone. I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses as the writer of Hebrews assures me, as well as family and friends.

So the next time I think I have it all together, I hope I remember to put "it" in the right context…that of being blessed and loved.

Night Owls vs. Early Birds--Is There Room in the Nest for Both?

Recently I returned from a twelve day adventure to Scotland. I traveled with my friend, Jodi Wilson Kosary. We've known each other since kindergarten. We attended the same small school with basically the same people from kindergarten through high school graduation. We attended church camp together, went to amusement parks together, played guitar and piano together, and sang in many choirs together. And then we went on a trip to Scotland. Together. Just the two of us and forty of our closest friends we didn't yet know.

Traveling can be stressful. Connecting flights, running through the airport, trying to exchange currency, learning how to flush the toilet in a strange place and coping with motion sickness can all accentuate the sense of everything being out of control. But throw in the night owl--who typically finds her bedtime between 11:00 and midnight--with an early bird--who is asleep by 10:00 but up by 6:00 a.m--and the potential for conflict is high.

All the things that are common sense do apply in this situation. Both early bird and night owl were able to compromise and were sensitive to the circadian rhythms of the other. It didn't hurt that the purpose of this adventure was to visit Scotland with author Liz Curtis Higgs.  Ms. Higgs is a Christian author, Bible teacher and "encourager". Both Jodi and I have read her historical fiction (set in Scotland) and gone through her Bible studies. For both of us, the opportunity to have a daily Bible study with Ms. Higgs herself was not to be missed.

This particular Bible study focused on the book of Ruth. I can't teach it any better than Liz, so I won't even try. I will recommend her book The Girl's Still Got It (which can be found at http://www.lizcurtishiggs.com/the-girls-still-got-it-book/) and advise, compel, exhort and entreat you to get a copy and go through it with a friend or group of friends. (And yes, I know how to use a thesaurus.)

What I will tell you is that the answer to my question of early birds, night owls and room in the nest was found in that study. A major theme of the study was that Christ came so that outsiders could be insiders. The labels we attach to ourselves and others are made by us--not by the God who created us and loves us.

So on the penultimate day of the trip--when the early bird looked at the night owl and asked if setting the alarm for 4:30 a.m for a 6:30 a.m. pick up time to the airport--the tired night owl did not attack the early bird. Rather, a compromise was made and the alarm was set. The night owl slept in while the early bird got ready, and they both made it to the airport on time. (In a nice bit of irony, the flight out was delayed more than an hour and both the night owl and early bird could have slept in a wee bit more…whatever that might have been.)

Indeed, there is room in the nest for both the night owl and the early bird.

Fear Not

Being an avid reader, I follow several authors on such aps as Goodreads and have "liked" many of them on Facebook. When one such author couple offered a free download of their latest book, a devotional entitled Fear Not in exchange for a review, I jumped on it. As some of you may know, the last year has been a struggle in many ways as I have grieved the loss of my mother and gone through all the "firsts" without her. I had hoped this devotional would offer some encouragement and be somewhat uplifting. The following is the review I wrote on Goodreads.

So you think you're having a bad day? Struggling with a loss-loss of a job, relationship, illness or death? If you are looking for a devotional to offer encouragement for things in your life that are not going well, then this is probably NOT the devotional for you. If you are uncertain of your faith--uncertain if God is really in control or if there will be a glorious life after death as promised by the Scripture, then this MAY be the devotional for you. Dave and Neta Jackson offer within the introduction the concept of "right remembering" and "wrong remembering". They state: “Wrong remembering focuses on the injustices done and incites hatred and revenge. Right remembering is a testimony that even suffering and death cannot extinguish the victory that is ours in Jesus Christ.”  With this in mind, the devotional offers compelling stories of those whose faith has triumphed--often over death--and points to ways in which the current reader can also triumph.

Divided into historical eras, the book offers several essays on various time frames impacting the church, beginning with the establishment of the early Church as described in the Book of Acts, and ending with modern day times and the spread of Islam. Following each essay are individual stories from that time.

Most disturbing to me were those stories that had to do with the Reformation. In an effort to be "RIGHT", there were many who were "WRONG". Those who were wrong often were tied to the stake and burned. From the tragedies rose great ministries, however, and the cause of the Gospel was furthered. For example, Wycliffe was martyred for his faith--a part of which included making certain the Gospel was shared in written English-- and now the Wycliffe organization excels in Bible translation throughout the globe. However, reading account after account of those who were racked, tortured and burned for their belief. One has the impression Jesus is not amused and will have some words for those who were behind the racking, torturing and burning.

The lives of more recent martyrs are included as well. The famous (at least in Christian circles) story of the Ecuadorian Waodani tribe and the five missionary families that ministered to them is included in several installments. These accounts were less troubling and more uplifting--maybe because the killers were more reactive rather than proactive and were not acting in the name of Jesus Christ as they did it.

Corrie and Betsie ten Boom held on to their faith despite the Nazis in a concentration camp. Mary McLeod Bethune stood up to the Klan and praised God while offering educations to poor black students. Todd Beamer, with others, stormed the hijackers over Pennsylvania and recited the 23rd Psalm and prayed with the telephone operator before the plane crashed.

I'm not certain this is the book I was expecting. The historical sections were written extremely well, and some of the individual stories were uplifting. Others were very depressing, and though meant to be uplifting caused feelings of anger at worst and irritation at best. Understand this a book of martyrs before you turn to it, and you might well find solace. Looking for a more sympathetic and encouraging read, find something else.  

What I did not say on Goodreads is that my mother would have despised this book. We had a pastor who spent an inordinate amount of time talking about those martyred for their faith. There were more sermons based the things that happened to the apostle Paul than sermons preached on the words and actions of Jesus. A tome filled with stories of those who died would have just angered her. I think I am more tolerant than my mom, but this was a depressing way to spend a great part of the day.

Pure Religion?

As the clinical director for an adoption agency, I frequently hear James 1:27 quoted to me…and thanks to Bible Gateway, here it is.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after^(A) orphans and widows^(B)in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.^© (NIV)

This is sometimes the response I receive when I ask what brings the family to adoption. Adopters generally fall into two camps--the infertile and the religious. The religious adopters often express they believe they are "called" to adopt. So this verse--or more likely than not,   just the "look after orphans and widows" part is the answer to the question. And as an adoption agency, it makes sense to hear the orphan part, but I have to admit I am sometimes frustrated that the potential adopters just slide right over that widow word. This becomes more evident when the potential adopters jump right to what kind of orphan they are hoping to help. The orphan they believe they are called to help is a baby--a newborn, please, and one with no health conditions born to a woman who has not used any illegal substances. Even better, she hasn't used any legal substances, like tobacco or alcohol either. And how is she eating? It would be great if she hasn't had any processed meats. The most typical concession made by these potential adopters is to adopt trans-racially. However, I have come across a few families that do not want to make this concession either. In short, they would like to adopt an orphan that could just as easily come from their own family line.

Is this really a picture of what God is asking of us? Somehow, I just don't think so. For one thing, these babies are living, breathing individuals who come with a history! These babies come from two biological parents. Despite the cartoon image of the stork dropping babies into the waiting arms of loving parents, the fact is these babies have human parents. And let's face it. if life was going well for these parents, it is unlikely the idea of adoption would ever cross their minds, much less actually be completed. Infant domestic adoptions happen because women find themselves in a position in which they do not believe they can care for their child. I have never met a birth parent who woke up one day and said "Yay! I get to give my baby to someone else!" There are overwhelming circumstances that stand in the way of their ability to give to the child all that they believe the child deserves. 

Some of these overwhelming circumstances can or may include poverty; a lack of education; substance abuse; domestic violence; or even just a streak of bad luck. There are some birth parents who could successfully parent their child, but believe there are other parents who could offer more and better. 

And what about the widows? My mother was widowed for 18 years. She was blessed with great health for 17 of those 18 years. She had an active mind, body and spirit. She was generous with her money and time. She was generous in her love to me. While she grieved my father's death, she did not have the "distress" that is faced by so many birth parents. 

So if we are to heed this particular passage of scripture, what should we do? I think it is probably more helpful to focus on the word "distress" rather than the the two groups that are named experiencing such distress. It's not that I don't want people to adopt--I think adoption is a wonderful picture of the Gospel. I wouldn't be a mother if not for the gift of adoption! But I think a good adoption plan will include care and love for birth parents, as well as the infant being placed. 

My challenge for myself and others is to look for ways to help those in distress…whether they are widows, orphans, or my neighbor.  Blessings to you all.