I Got it All Together…Now Where Did I Put It?

This past weekend, as I was throwing piles of scrap wood onto the fire pit along with the debris of yard work only recently done after approximately twenty years of neglect, I threw myself an enormous pity party. I considered myself entirely justified in doing so. My reasons were legion. I really hate to sweat, and the ninety percent humidity combined with eighty degree heat made the logic of such a fire questionable at best. "The next time I have a huge bonfire," I grumbled, "it's going to be October and there will be weenies on sticks!" The lake was beckoning with the sounds of jet ski and pontoon motors humming at a steady level. "Is our pier in?" I asked myself. "No, of course it is not," came the immediate reply. "Maybe I'll go inside and take a break in the air conditioning," came the next thought. In a heartbeat, I remembered that although the air conditioning was running, the cabin is missing two big windows and is covered with tarp. The air conditioning is not actually effective at this time. The charm of the little log cabin in the woods on the lake, gleefully purchased as "the deal of the century", was wearing painfully thin. Buyer's remorse and a pity party seemed to be the order of the day.

 As pity parties go, this was not truly a red hot event. I was able to focus my thoughts in another direction. I began thinking about my recent trip to Scotland, and in particular, I thought about the other women on the trip. What bonds 42 women together? It could have been the challenge of learning to navigate the shower in every new hotel. It could have been the first day of dealing with jet lag. Perhaps it was the search for free wi-fi and trying to stay in touch with family at home. In reality, it was something most European tours do not include. This trip included a daily Bible study--not your typical European tour fare. What became just an interesting side note to the trip rapidly became the focus and glue of the trip.

The women on this trip all appeared to have it all together. Ages ranged from retired to early thirties. Most women were married. Most shared they had children and a good many had grandchildren. It was, to say the least, a very classy group of women. All seemed to share a love of reading. After all, this tour was hosted by a well-known Christian author, Liz Curtis Higgs. Liz taught from the book of Ruth, drawing every woman in the group into her grasp of the Bible--the language, the idioms, the customs and the foreshadowing all included in this great work of the Old Testament.

Something about the intimacy of this daily early morning ritual prompted guests to start sharing pieces of their lives from home. The first days focused on the superficial--the churchy equivalent of name, rank and serial number. Women shared name, occupation, and marital status. But as the days went by, the prayer requests began. This wonderful group of Christian women was truly and delightfully human. More than one woman shared a story of a prodigal child. One dear lady shared of her current struggle with Stage IV cancer. I was able to share my grief in the loss of my wonderful mother, whose generosity had paid for this trip. These women, who have it all together, have issues! Their lives are not perfect.

This group has remained in contact with one another through the wonder of social media. A group member created a private Facebook page, and my feed now consists of a large percentage of posts on this "secret" page. Not only are pictures and book recommendations flying over cyberspace, the prayer concerns and praises have been hitting the airwaves as well.

I had also received a group email from a coworker that morning. Not only is this person a coworker, she is also a dear friend. I work in an office with very dynamic and successful women. All are confident, accomplished, generous and caring, seemingly without a care in the world. Yet this particular friend was coping with a mother-in-law with Alzheimer's in a crisis stage, along with a brother-in-law who was MIA.

So as I stood, dripping in sweat and grumbling about the injustice of not being able to frolic on the lake, my heart went to this group of remarkable women and they faith they demonstrate. I realized my "problem" --my unruly cabin--was such a blessing. For heaven's sake, I have two houses in a time when homelessness is epidemic. My cabin is located in the place I have loved since my teen years. It is located in the place where I was able to question, grow and become committed to my faith. It was in this place, on THIS lake, that I came to know beyond any doubt, the Jesus of Nazareth was indeed the Son of God and that amazingly enough, He knew me and loved me.

My cabin is a work in progress. My suburban house is on the market, and hopefully will sell soon. When that happens, I will be moving to the cabin, which currently does not have a single closet. Someday I will be able to frolic on the lake with the other carefree people. But I have realized that even though I will someday "get it all together", I will always have from to grow. As long as I am living, there is the potential for something to go wrong. I'm fairly confident--make the 100% confident--that something down the line will go wrong. There will be more heartache in my life. Yet I am not alone. I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses as the writer of Hebrews assures me, as well as family and friends.

So the next time I think I have it all together, I hope I remember to put "it" in the right context…that of being blessed and loved.