"Photographs and memories; Christmas cards you sent to me; And all that I have are these to remember you by". Bonus points if you can name the singer/songwriter...
This is a bittersweet weekend. Last night was spent with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew and significant dude. As the Hurryin' Hoosiers (a number one seed, I might add) played in the NCAA tourney on television, we sat around the table and ate a meal prepared by my wonderful ASC angel co-workers. (After all, that is what people do in times of grief. Eat. And share food. And do...) The Hoosiers did win last night. The president of the United States has picked them to win the tourney. To say my dad was a huge IU fan would be an understatement. Every March he would eat, breathe and live IU basketball. He died before Bobby Knight was fired and I think it is a positive thing he missed the shenanigans that ensued. I also think he would be very excited about this team, Coach Crean, and the team's prospects this year.
After the meal, we started poring over scrapbooks. And going through papers. We found some interesting things--in addition to Mom's college diploma we found her transcript. Remember when I said she was competitive? And that she valued education? There was never a semester she was not on the Dean's List. Her GPA? 3.91. Not too shabby for someone who had not been in school since 1950.
There was controversy over some pictures from the past--as in just who is that baby? Is that Mom? Or is that one of her sisters? And if it is not Mom, why would she have a baby picture of one of her sisters? We think it's Mom. It's on the collage that will go to the memorial service today. That's our story and we're sticking to it.
The pictures are funny things. Mom was very definite in her dislikes, as well as her likes. She went to Europe without a camera. Her theory was that pictures of castles and the like would not change--they have been there for hundreds of years. If you want a picture of a particular place, buy a postcard. She did concede at one point that if the pictures had familiar people in them, they were ok. Oddly enough, we found a scrapbook with pictures of her in Europe! One with a sign pointing to the washroom. Important in any language.
For someone who did not like pictures, she has many scrapbooks and boxes of pictures. Some were easily identifiable, others were not. Another photo that made the collage was a picture of Mom holding up an "Ironing Table". There were not any Christmas decorations in the photo, so we don't know what the occasion happened to be to warrant a new "Ironing Table", but she was an ironer. I can recall her ironing my dad's underwear that she had hung on the line. The phrase "no-iron" attached to clothing simply did not apply. Mom ironed. She always ironed her sheets...making laundry day a bit more challenging.
Not only are there are pictures of Mom throughout her life doing various things, there are the pictures of my sister and I throughout out lifespan. It's funny to see the various hair styles and degrees of pudginess. Some people in the pictures are no longer in the family...the ex for example.
My nephew is a rock climber. Ice wall climber. Adventurer...(crazy, but that's only my opinion, and not a clinical one. That's the aunt who prefers to keep feet on the ground.) At one point my niece pointed out a picture of a long ago birthday, and said "That's Eric's first climbing rope!" Now there is a photo hanging on Mom's wall of Eric sitting on top of a Teton. He is literally in the clouds. Funny how we have documentation of that particular "first".
New memories are being built. Life will go on without Mom. But I'm grateful to have the photographs and the random card from her to remind me of my heritage. To quote the singer/songwriter from above..."I got a name...I got a song...and I carry it with me and I sing it loud...if it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud." The end of this great song is "moving ahead so life don't pass me by". I'm moving ahead. I may be kicking and screaming, but I am moving ahead. I will say good-bye to my mom this weekend...good-bye for now. Really--it's more of a "see you around".
Thanks, Jim Croce, for great lyrics.
I'll see you all around.
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